Over The Shoulder Boulder Holder

Written by my friend Diane Eckert. Thanks Diane.

I was reading elsewhere that a woman Tweeted about how bras should be put on that actually started a bit of an opinion brawl between ladies on Twitter, so I thought I’d do a bit of my own research to see if Facebook women could have the same discussion without it erupting into a knock down drag out.  I’m very pleased to say they could, and did.  I’m going to relate here a few of the preferences we bandied about in that chat.

Let’s take a look at what it is we’re talking about here. Bras, brassieres, bustiers, or as I titled this, over the shoulder boulder holders.

There was some discussion as to whether anyone even bothered to wear one, and if they didn’t, why not, etcetera.  I can recall a time in the way distant past when I didn’t even own one of the things.  Of course I was still in my teens and twenties and loved that slight jiggling motion that drove the opposite sex oh so wild. It snagged me a lead guitar player here and there.  Also, it was a damned site more comfortable.  As with all things in life though, time takes a toll and I began wearing one.

I always positioned the cups behind me with the hook assembly in front, clasped that together, then twisted it around to the back and put my arms through the straps and placed everything inside the vacant area.

I still do it that way today, but evidently I’ve been doing it wrong all these years, and so have some of the women I spoke with about their methods.  Who knew corralling the girls took so much thought?  Evidently this blond with the red nails up there knows what she’s doing.  There’s a multitude of sites that have posts dedicated to showing you how to pack the twins up properly. I was really surprised, never having thought of it that much myself.  Supposedly, this next image shows us the correct way to handle the gals.

That’s just for the rear fastened type though.  There’s others of course.  You have your front clasp, your no clasp, such as your sports bras, and then bustiers are an entirely different story.  I still remember the first time I had to take one of these on and off in gym class to shower and was mortified until at least the third semester of junior high.  Growing breasts is no easy feat. They actually are supposed to be TRAINED!

There were always those one or two girls that actually had boobs in junior high and were never afraid to stick them in your face like they were something you’d never have.  Everything comes together sooner or later though and the next thing I knew I wanted LACE.  Like some of these—

Or ones with pretty flowers-

Then I got into the whole sports bra thing, and they weren’t too bad, pretty comfortable but not much support, although they could help you look hot as hell at the gym. I mean if that’s actually your thing.  Not that I’d ever think about flaunting my body in front of sleek, sweaty men with muscles.

They were nice for late afternoon beach strolls too.  Never even gave a thought to how it might look.

Say a thanks to this guy, Philip B. Jensen  who, on June 26, 1958 filed a patent for  “FRONT CLOSURE BRASSIERES”.

Today’s models look like there’s been quite a bit of improvement over the years.

Then of course there was Howard Hughes and his foray into developing a bra to ensnare yet enhance leading lady Jane Russell’s cleavage during the filming of The Outlaw.  That was one thing all of us in the conversation were fairly united about; underwire bras totally suck.  Thanks so much Howard.

Can you imagine though wearing this?

Evidently women back in the day not only wanted their boobs to look perky, they wanted to make a point out of it.  These types were called “bullet” bras.  I don’t know if they were so named because they would be lethal if someone was in a close enough vicinity as to get an eye poked out or not.

Taking a bra OFF is an entirely different story.  Through the sleeve while on an elevator going home, the second you’re through the front door, the instant you get the chance.  Everyone was in complete agreement over that.  Release the beasts as soon as possible and not one second later.

As far as going braless goes, the men were of one mind and most of the women too.  If it feels good do it, they’re your breasts after all.

So what did I learn from all of this? Well, evidently there is a correct way to put a bra on and if you don’t know how to do that, the females on Twitter will fight you over it.  The sooner a bra comes off the better, men don’t care if you ever wear one or not, and the ladies of Facebook have far better manners than the ones posting on Twitter.  Who knew?

Thanks to:

Connie Myles, Teresa Jarman, Sara Ann Akre, Otakar Klier, Brent Vossler, Alan Mross, Candy Eckert-Haney, Kim Swab, Sharlie Snodgrass, Melinda Moore, Tisha Shaw, Gina Jolley, Tracey Mehan, Marianne Raikes, Cheri Garza, Michelle Thornton Collins, Roxanne Szabo, Kimmer Jett, Laura Hess, Michelle Smith, Susan Copelin, Phil Patterson, Tanya Dumler, Debra Abston Greenwood, Rebecca Holloway, Carolyn Dougherty, Dawndy Hancy-Albrecht, Ryan Martin, Nicole Kincaid, Renee Bumgardner,Brooke Ann, Rich Clemens, Alicia Parker, Tim Cook, Karin Porter, and Heather Findlay.

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